Panic

In genetics class everyone has to do several quick presentations over certain lecture slides throughout the semester (a couple people go everyday). The professor emails the people who have to perform a week in advanced. For some reason every day in genetics I get a crazy nervous panic attack and question whether or not I have to go that day. I worry that I didn't read the email, or that it somehow didn't make it to my e-mail box or some other crazy fluke. The other day in class, the teacher looked down at her list for the name of the next presenter. When she looked up her gaze fell RIGHT on me and she said "...and the next speaker is...Benjamin" I nearly DIED!! It was like my worst nightmare! Such a powerful wave of panic lashed over me. It was like a chilling wave of water that flowed over me. My heart seemed to stop for a second as the whole world got really quiet and my brain raced at a million miles an hour to figure out what was going on. Then someone behind me spoke up and I realized that she had referred to another Benjamin in the class who just so happened to be sitting behind me. PHEW! I began to feel my heart beating again and it was blazing! It took me a few minutes to regain control of myself and composure.

This was definitely an unpleasant experience. I don't like to feel afraid. Made for quite an interesting story though I think. The emotion I felt was fear. Pure fear. It was extremely intense and seemed to last for a very long time. Even after I realized there was nothing to worry about my body was still in "get the hell outa here mode". The cause of my emotion would be my fear of embarrassment or perhaps my teacher who called upon me without actually calling on me. I guess it depends on how you define cause of emotion.